In the He Says/She Says series, we discuss financial-ish topics where we agree to disagree. But Johnny’s usually right. Don’t tell Joanna I wrote that. Cool, thanks.
The first fight. Every marriage has one. Usually it’s a disagreement about some major fundamental belief: parenting, budgeting, politics. Ours went a little like this:
“I used to love summer road trips as a kid in our minivan.”
“We’ll have to do that when we have kids. Except we won’t have a minivan.”
“Uhhh, we will if we have kids.”
“No. We won’t.”
This back-and-forth continued, oh, another hour. Or two. It had angry moments and funny moments. But mostly, we just stared at each other incredulously. It became so pointed and personal that you would have assumed that my great-grandfather invented the minivan. Or that a rogue minivan had come into Joanna’s house as a child and murdered her family. But one thing was for sure: neither of us were backing down. So we decided to drop it. And then proceeded to sit on opposite ends of the couch in a passive-aggressive duel.
Days Weeks Months later, we promised to let cooler heads prevail as we got to the root of our freaking ridiculous disagreement. My argument was, and is, pretty simple: minivans are designed especially for families. So when we’ve multiple mini-humans, that would be the most practical car to transport our pale-skinned brood. And that’s that.
But those reasons were just surface level. You see, in Joanna’s mind, there was a lot more to a minivan than sliding doors and Cheetos-stained carpets. She saw my insistence on owning a van as me cornering her into the role of a 1950’s subservient housewife, which made me the chauvinistic Don Draper. And since I’m a copywriter at an ad agency, that comparison hit a little too close to home. Before you all start wondering in your head if I actually am a “your office is the kitchen” type husband, I assure you, I’m not. Joanna would vouch for this, too. Right, Joanna… right? But to her, the minivan was a symbol of settling for a life as a mom-servant.
I’m happy to report that she no longer feels that minivans enslave women. But she still thinks they’re ugly. And despises them. And insists one will never sit in our driveway. But I’ve never been one to walk away from a challenge.
Are you down with minivans? Let’s hear your best argument for or against getting one?