Guess what happens when we get questions from readers? We answer them! So if you have your own question, click here and shoot it off to us. We’ll do our best to get back to you and give you an answer that isn’t totally incorrect.
Every relationship can benefit from a healthy dose of disagreement from time to time. At least, that’s what I’d like to think because that means Johnny and I have a really healthy relationship! We’re both very stubborn and independent, thankyouverymuch. But the reason for most of our disagreements is that we’re determined to make decisions as a team. We try our best to communicate and compromise and work together. And in the process, we inevitably stumble upon differences of opinion (what to eat, what to name our baby, whether we should own a minivan). And that goes for finances, too. It would be easier for each of us to take separate financial journeys. But before we got married, we decided everything would be joint (including our bank accounts).
So what do you do when you and your S.O. want to face your finances together, but you’re not quite on the same page? Well, we want to share a great question by an OFB friend and reader that touches on just that!
Hello Joanna & Johnny!
Okay, so I recently started my journey to becoming financially fit. I began by reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey (thanks to you guys). I’m excited and sooo motivated to start making better decisions with my money. However… let me tell you a little about me, my fiancé and our situation. We are currently engaged, we both work full-time, rent a house, utility bills, my car, loans, credit cards and medical bills. Did I mention we are planning a wedding!!
I feel that even though we have so much going on we can still begin our Money Makeover. My fiancé however does not feel the same way.
What do you think would be the best way to get him on board? What/How do you budget when your other half is not on the same page?
And here’s our answer:
Thanks for reaching out to us! First of all, congrats on starting your journey to become financially fit, and congrats on the upcoming wedding! Wedding planning in and of itself can be quite stressful (albeit super fun!!), so kudos on working toward financial freedom at the same time. There’s no time like the present, right?
When Johnny and I first started budgeting, I was actually the one dragging my feet. I just kind of thought keeping such a strict, itemized budget would ruin our lives! But Johnny convinced me to give it a try for one month. I agreed, but as we started it, I was so not on board because it was really hard initially. But by the end of the first month, I was sold. For the first time in our marriage, we both felt in control of our money. At times, we still find budgeting frustrating (our freaking budget, hello!). However, we didn’t start a budget because we wanted to be frustrated all the time. We did it because it would actually bring us less stress over time. If you can talk to your fiancee about perhaps a 1-month trial period or about how it will bring you more peace and less stress in the long run, and he still doesn’t want to do it, just go forward with it the best you can yourself. And hopefully him seeing you work so hard will help him come around.
Good luck in the coming weeks and months! If you feel yourself losing that motivation, just remember there are lots of other people working toward financial fitness, too — you’re not alone! And tell your fiancee that if he doesn’t come around, I’m gonna hunt him down and make him see reason ;).