In the What If Wednesday series, we transport to a hypothetical alternate-reality and watch life play out. And we do it on Wednesday, because alliteration.
Alright, you know the drill by now. Put on your imagination caps.
You’re eating lunch when you get an unexpected call from your brother. He works for the government for some agency you’ve never really heard of and you’ve never really had the patience to understand what he actually does. But it sounds important — and boring. Sensing the call might be important, you answer the call.
“Listen to me VERY carefully. Within 24 hours, the world is going to find out that zombies are real. Within one month, a quarter of the world’s population will be zombies. I’m trying to secure a spot in a federal bunker for our family, but it might take some time. So prepare like you’re on your own. You have 24 hours. Love you.”
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. First you need to finish your Funyuns. Okay, now you can panic.
After a 15-minute freak out session, you collect yourself and drive to your bank. You calmly approach a teller and request a complete withdrawal of your account. The teller looks outside toward your car to make sure there’s not a masked figure in your car holding you against your will. A few moments later, you walk out with stacks of cash.
So how do you use your cash the day before the zombie apocalypse?
Believe it or not, I’ve actually answered this question before, sorta. I’m already well aware that I take my Walking Dead viewing too seriously. But hey, if Amazon has a Zombie Apocalypse Supplies section and the government has a quasi-real Zombie Preparedness Guide available, I’ll take it seriously. This quote on the CDC’s website really drives home my true interest in it al: “If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.”
While I’d be happy to further elaborate with this specific scenario, I’m really more interested to hear from you on this one.
So let’s hear it. Gobs of cash, 24 hours, zombie apocalypse: what do you buy?